Ethical dilemmas

I am doing a course in philosophy but I won’t go as far as defining ethics and then deal with the subject like a teacher. I think everyone of us has a sense of what ethics are? I believe that ethics of each and every individual depend upon his upbringing and the times in which he lives. There are exceptional people who break the boundaries of time and bring new ideas to our domains.

Capital punishment is something which explains this very easily. Its not even 200 years when capital punishment used to be a public highlight event in Europe and people used to come and enjoy the same. Today the things are totally different. EU has already banned capital punishment (as far as I know) and many more countries have followed the lead. As we progress the definition of ethics also becomes more holistic. Now a day we talk about corporate ethics and environmental ethics too.

There are lots of sayings that are accumulations of experiences of our ancestor’s, which help in resolving such complex ethical dilemmas that we face during our everyday lives.

The ones I can remember right now are:

“Ghoda ghas se dosti karega, to khayega kya”

“Be more concerned with you character than with your reputation, because character is what really you are, while reputation is merely what others think you are.”

So everyone of us is supposed to behave in a manner that is ethical. But does every situation have a single answer!!! If every situation had a single answer than the topic itself would have become irrelevant and usage of word ‘dilemma’ would be out of place. But I don’t think that is the case.

To come back to the ground level realities from this entire professor like lecture I am going to talk about the issues and incidences which forced me to this post.

A well to do middle class family in India can afford only sleeper class train journey, which I have to undertake at least four times in an year to and fro my home town.

Not all are lucky enough to have a confirmed ticket and hence a birth to sleep in the night. “To phir raat mein farsh par sona hee akela sahara hota hai”. I also have had to travel with a waiting ticket 2-3 times, and that is when I realized the problem of traveling that way. This time when I was coming back after enjoying my HOLI holidays, I had a confirmed ticket and only a few people were their without the same. Since I am a thin guy, and luckily or unluckily I had a lower birth. There was some space on the corner of birth which a black gentleman wearing clean white kurta payjama, utilized with his butt touching my feet. For me to sleep in a train is difficult, and mine was the birth nearest to gate so it was always buzzing with activity for the reasons all of us don’t have much control. I was still in dilemma whether to tell this gentle man to leave and suddenly a boy who was playing with his newest nokia mobile for quite some time can and sat on my birth on the top side just below my face.

I was facing butts and now 4 of them. Those butts were less important than the ifs and buts going on in my mind. I wasn’t able to sleep in their presence. And I hadn’t paid railways even a single penny more than them to deserve the birth. Ultimaltely I said to the boy,

“Boss yahan par nahin ho payega, koi aur seat dhoondh lo”

And after some time to the gentleman too

“uncle yahan par mujhe problem ho rahe hai”

Uncle said, “Problem to kisey nahin hoti yaar”, but he left.

But my dilemma still remains unresolved, should I have done that or not? I have a few more which are more serious ones lets see when i get to write about them

ak

EDP

It has been a big hassle for me to be not able to publish photos with my blog. Either it is a good day for me or I have found out the way to put photos. Any ways it’s not good for me (temporarily)!!!

Well the answer to this tricky situation is that, after extension of the deadline for submission for my EDP, rather our EDP once already, I am still in the process of starting my work. And this process of starting has taken too long. I have been starting since the week before holi and I haven’t yet done anything substantial as yet.

The EDP report has to be a 60 page long detailed plant design of an acetic acid plant which produces 50,000 tons per annum of this chemical. I have already submitted a 30 page report for the same, but to be true I still don't know what Colour is acetic acid, how it smells. The professor who was evaluating my presentation in my first stage told me that its vinegar that we use at home for preservation of pickles and many more things. Abey yaar! How am I supposed to know what the hell do we put in achars. I never did make one. And even if we put acetic acid in pickles, milawat wala hota hoga!!

I am not going to divulge the black magic that I did for my first stage submission, because the same is going to continue in the stage 2 also.

This issue takes me back to the same point where I can start the process of criticizing IIT system of education, but I am in no mood because I have to design a plant for this hypothetical chemical whose 6.4 million tons were consumed in the world in 2003, but that should not be a problem for me since the raw materials do bear the same hypothetical nature to me, they are Carbon mono oxide (hope fully its nature remains unknown to all of us, since it can kill in even in a few seconds and I didn’t know that when I wrote my first stage report. A gentle man from Britannia who was taking my interview and finally offered me the job too told me this valuable information.) And the other one is Methanol (A few survivors of zaharili sharab kands that happen too often may know how it tastes, but since I haven’t even tasted non poisonous daaru, so it also remains an illusive raw material to me).

And the process goes on. The person who doesn’t know how his product and raw materials look, smell or feel like (although I know that all these activities could be dangerous, since its an unfriendly lot of chemicals), is supposed to design a plant (the title of project may be designing a plant, but the job is to write a 60 page report that may or may not make sense, and then try your best to defend it for 20 odd minutes in front of professors of IIT who may also be in same condition as you are except for the authority they have.) And if some one actually tries to implement my design, then who will help him, those Profs, me or the god.

So what is the significance of image that I have put?? Lets assume that its a drop of methanol for the time being because I don’t know how that looks like :D

ak

Profiles

For clarity of non iit readers I would explain what profile means in IITB, since this word has been frequently used in this post.

Profiles

Definition: A profile is lekha-jokha (not done by Chitragupta jee but his friends and wing mates) of all good or bad (mostly bad deeds) which an iitian has done over his 4 years of iit stay. It includes some of his biggest mistakes, obviously a big part devoted to his crushes and if he is lucky enough, his girl friend. And the last few consolatory lines about his achievements and where is he going to go. The last few lines are the most difficult to write because, good things are so limited about a person.

Application: All these profiles are read by nearest and dearest friends on the valedictory function (typically called valfi). And it’s meant to be a surprise for the person because it has a compilation of his deeds and misdeeds which he has forgotten or he is still making an effort to forget.
Back to business

Because profile mania is on top in our wing. And me being a responsible member of h13 summit iit Bombay felt like constructively contributing. I have had pleasure of writing a few profiles, but it seems my writing skills tear too much of flesh and while people enjoy when somebody else’s profile is being written, they want me out of room when their own is being done.

Today is the last day of profile submissions by 11:59:59. (The usual way of giving deadlines here.) It actually surprised me when I came to IIT, because I used to sleep at 10 pm. So what’s the use of such late deadline? I realized after coming to iit that when some one say assignment submissions are due by 23 rd march, it means 11:59:59 pm on the 23rd march and not the usual government office timing of closing on 5 pm, which is also, late for babus at times. And it became a practice for me too, to utilize to last two hours to do the assignment.

Back to the profiles.

How are profiles written?

Well, 5-6 interested people lay on each other in a small room of (7*5 feet2), which is pretty normal for us, while watching fartu movies or something important or when we are in mod for total lukkha. I was told by a friend of mine who came after a summer training in Europe that, if some westerner sees us this way, he would surely think that a gay party is going on. So out of all these people the lucky one who types out every thing sits on the chair. And if there is profile mania then there are two chairs in this small room which makes its floor comparable to the sleeper coach of railways during the holiday season.

But to gather 5-6 people at a single point of time is also not as easy a thing. From the last two days one of has had to get angry, mail on the wing group, has had to fight, and then after all this drama the we initiate the process of writing the profile. Another issue that comes up is the person whose profile is being written has to be kept out of the room, which is actually a welcome break for the poor soul, since the mercury is rising and a large number of people atleast 4 on the bed is not something very easy to manage.

Now comes the crux part of profile writing. Each one of us starts pouring ideas. And the chairperson has the job to key them in the computer. If he is a shareef guy than the language would be soft, no mirch masala, no interpretations, no double meanings. But if the CEO is someone like me than you are in for some real bashing because shareef people are sitting behind you whose, dil is soft and they don’t want to hurt any body and also write nothing but fact. Ab agar aadmi 4 saal mein, facts mein itni saari galatiyaan kar dega to phir to woh really god hoga. Profiling is all about interpretations and extraplotations (atleast for me).

So every one remembers the incidences, defines the role of protagonist and then narrative is completed in a period of atleast two hours. And finally something good for the person like

"We wish him a good future. Hope he achieves what all he wants to."

I forgot to mention a very important part of the profiles. A sketch of the person is also added with the profile and printed in the profile book. Yes all the profiles in a hostel are compilated in a book. If you have done something really nasty and a friend of yours who can draw it nastier than you will be in trouble when the profile is being read at the valfi. Because all your near and dear ones, department pals including the fairer sex are present.

My profile has already been written and earlier I was thinking about putting that on my blog ……but I may have to censor that:D

ak

I came back

The Cahh is Pahhhked in the pahhking Aaaea
It’s not a close up add using aaahhh at every word.
It’s the reason why close up is getting coastly.
The car is parked in the parking area.

And the correct way to pronounce this sentence is the one mentioned in the starting, which is really difficult until and unless you use close up every morning and practice a lot.

A distant starting, as usual. Today I came back, after my refreshing Holi holidays. Although the official holiday was only for a day, most of the ‘SAROJAGAR’ final yearites took at least a week off. Since, I consider myself a more serious than others, so bunked only for two days. But as soon as I steeped into my department, I was more than apparent from my mid semester evaluations that, my considerations are awfully wrong. But who cares!!!

I haven’t had a particular liking for going back home since my first year because of at least a thousand reasons, which I have discussed earlier. And this time the sense of guilt was far too much to bear for me.

I was falling short of vocabulary for myself, when the train started moving and there were already drops of tears in my mom’s eyes and my dad was also slightly emotional. The words that I thought during my journey half asleep included stone hearted, unemotional, disconnected, ignorant, diamond hearted in the context of diamond being the hardest material (don’t think “ladke ka dil to heera hai”). It was not the first time this happened. There was a sense of fear when I came to IIT for the first time, which remains the only emotional both ways see off that I remember; otherwise it has always been one way traffic with only the senders getting emotionally involved. A sense of guilt has started to make inroads into my heart like a corrosive acid which could be sulphuric or hydrochloric acid (doesn’t matter). But still I remain the same and I can’t change.

So this was a rational analysis of my see off.

Now comes the real tough part the journey. I realized just a few days ago that I had lost taste for fiction esp the US fiction, the Sydney Sheldon or Ludlum kind. And I was alone for the whole journey of 14 long hours. The train was not very packed by the holi standard, still there were four people on the seat of 3, but the floors were empty, only the ends of bogie were occupied,it still it was spacious, since one could easily move and use the facilities. The journey had nothing much happening till 3:30 am in the morning. I was to reach Bombay in the morning and I have travelled at least 10 times by the same train, still I didn’t remember the order of stations or the time at which the train would reach Borivali.

There was a sound of ^&*^*)(*)(*)(*)!$#@#$@#$ in my dreams. I tried pronouncing the sound and then writing it but I was unsuccessful so I used these special characters. I suddenly woke up and saw the watch. It was 3:30 am. I was on lower birth. The lady sleeping on the other lower birth was continuously pressing a polythene bag like a child of four and generating this irritating sound. I looked out of the window and the station was “DAHANU Road”. I realized that Mumbai wasn’t far away. But how far was the question that flashed through my sleepy mind. I realized that every one else was sleeping and the pantry car “Chai walas” hadn’t started coming. So it must be far enough for me to get some more sleep. I was any ways not bothered about gathering my baggage, since I only had one bag which was being used as a pillow and one bed sheet which I could take and run in the two mins stop at boriwali. The problem was my pair of sandals. They were lying underneath the birth opposite to mine. I could see them in the dim light, but there was a guy sleeping on the floor, so I couldn’t directly take them out. But TIME WAS STILL 3:30, so no need to panic. I covered my face in the bed sheet, tried to sleep or at least posed as if I was sleeping.

I like to sleep in real calm surroundings which are totally dark. So it’s really difficult for me to sleep during the journeys. I hardly sleep during bus journeys, but trains are a little bit more comfortable. So as I tried to sleep at this 3:30 mark, I started hearing gargling sounds, which didn’t appear human by any criteria to me(could be my half asleep mind, and effect of my partial night out). I was at birth number 65, the corner of the bogie and hence this couldn’t be helped. And I again looked out of window. It was “Palgarh”.

I have special memories for this station. It happened ones that due to some track problems my train was halted at pal garh and I had to go to IIT by road from here. Special BEST buses were there to help the stranded travelers, but there were atleast 10,000 of us (since it was morning time and quite a few trains come to Mumbai from north at this time). So I went in a vikram till ‘Virar’ and then took a local. This local journey also had historic significance, because this was my first and uptill now last encounter with the most dreaded local in the town “The VIRAR LOCAL” (Tana tananaaan …tune for entry of villain in old Hindi movies). This was the first time when people complained about me having two bags, in fact why take any baggage according to them.

But since I was confused about the order of stations, I decided to keep it in my mind this time, which may prove to be my last journey in this IIT career to Mumbai.

So, Dahanu Road > Palgarh

And then Dahanu Road > Palgarh > Virar

And then Dahanu Road > Palgarh > Virar > Mira Road > ….Borivali

This is the sequence I formulated in my mind, and is still there. Right or Wrong …I am still confused.

ak

Food and Festivals

At special Request of Sabby, in wisdom of chem Junta too!!

“Rang barse bheege chunar waali rang barse,
Bheege bani kaa yaar balam tarse rang barse”

How many times have we heard this song? Ever Holi ‘Chitrahaar or Rangoli’ or both would have a list of songs being played, which normally doesn’t change. New songs come and go, but a few legends like this remain.

But as usual I start with something too far away from, what I wish to talk about in my blog. The only thing common between the beginning and the issue dealt is ‘Rang’.
We Indians boast one of the most colorful societies in this world. I won’t go to the extent of universe, because it hasn’t been verified that earth is the only planet with life and movies like star wars, ET and many more exobiologist on a probability based analysis try to prove that in this continuously expanding universe, we shouldn’t be alone.

Who would like to be alone, esp. us Indians. I don’t think there would be people any where in the world who can make friends even while traveling in trains, with moms discussing recipes of new achaar, chunnu munnu playing together and uncle jee’s talking about our dearest Laloo Prasad Yadav. So being alone in the universe is unthinkable, who would give company during, space travels!!

[Note: All the arguments and analysis here on in next few paragraphs is based on my desi perception of west as I haven’t yet had any opportunity to visit and videshi land.]

But what is this colorful society all about and why do I claim that we Indians are more colourful than westerners?

Well, there are lots of things that make us Indians a whole lot different than our western counterparts.

Hum log laal mirch khate hain, aur woh log kaali mirch. How boring is that kind of food with so less variety such less usage of spices, especially in my case since my mom can cook and cook well, vegetarian food from any where in the country.

Don’t take it seriously, but there is logic in the last line I wrote. I would go by vedic Indian arguments to prove that. The food that we eat is divided into three categories:

• Satoguni: Most simple food comprising of natural things kandmool phal etc. I think cooking is permitted.
• Rajoguni: Oily food including onions and Lehsun and things that smell a lot.
• Tamoguni: all non vegetarian food, alcohol etc.

Now according to the logic, the kind of food that we eat has a big influence on the way we behave and live.

Let’s compare the kind of food that we eat. If we take a look at the map of India, Rajasthan and Punjab are the two centers of some serious greasy food. And both the states are known for there rich culture, life style. Even the dresses that people wear are the most colourful and ornamented ones. How can we forget the auntijee’s wearing such heavy jewellery studded sarees and what not. Although the reasons could be to prove their husbands superiority or ‘jalan’ factor. “Ajee sunte ho, aaj woh verma jee kee misses kee saaree dekhi tumne, Badi khush ho ho kar dikha rahe thi sabko”, and you can very well image what Mr. verma would be thinking about?

South Indian culture is an example of simplicity and sober living which gadhiji preached all his life. And if we have a close look at there dressing pattern we find that Mr. P Chidambaram won’t hesitate to present the budget of biggest democracy of the world in a lungi and shirt.( No offences). But that is not even a hypothetical possibility of Mr. Jaswant Singh who comes from a royal family in Rajasthan.

So what I wish to conclude is that South Indian food is much simpler, lesser variety, less spicy at times very similar to western food.

[Point to ponder: Although the food that we eat varies around the world varies like anything. To take an example some people eat rice, some others wheat, some eat chappatis of Potato. But in terms of nutrition content it doesn’t vary more than 2-3 %]

The number of festivals that we have in India is highest. And a cliché sums it all

“For all 365 days in year, we Indians have at least one festival”, Here the more important part is ‘at least one’

Now let’s compare Indian scenario with western kind of a situation. I am surprised, when I see everyone wearing the same ‘coat-suit’ on a marriage. (Bore nahin hota kya yaar who log ??) Marriages in India showcases best of the clothes with all kinds of variety that every man and woman has on his wardrobes as I have already told you about Mr. and Mrs. Verma.

Any ways western clothing has one more important part, ‘Skin’, which we Indians are slowly adopting to, but we are still far away from it.

Ab Back to HOLI, festival of colours, and believe me, if you don’t play holi….I PITY YOU.

Rangon kee is bahar mein, to murde bhi zinda ho jaate hain,

Tum kyun door se aisa murjhye hue dekhte ho,

AAjao saath hamare is dhamal mein tum bhi shaamil ho jaao.

So feel proud being an Indian and enjoy the festival of colours. And next time when you eat something greasy, take all these factors into consideration (Although it is only possible if you aren’t a girl, who is trying to get skinny, sexy and whatever to impress, obviously not me!!)

Don’t forget to Colour all your friends, it would be great if you do that to your enemies as well.

ak

Traditions are not as bad as you think

What can a good campus placements do to you?

It can take you to the levels of inactivity which you start to hate. This is worse than hibernation because during that time the insect sleeps, but this 4 years stay in IIT has transformed me into a guy who can’t sleep more than 12 hrs (this is the maximum, when I spend 4 hours in the bed waking and thinking about sleeping). I have two projects and one mid semester exam coming up right after I come back from home after my holi vacations; still I am blogging for no good reason.

This writer inside me is like a small baby, who doesn’t go to sleep until I do the bed time story reading for it. And I have to read more stories when a new book comes into picture. The same happened today. I was reading blog of a person called sunshine. She is an independent girl who is against any kind of arranged marriage and for that she has had a fight with her dad too.

Hence the agenda for this post is arranged vs. love marriage(AM vs LM). The same old boring topic, about which many of us written essays, attended public debates and at least given a fair bit of thought too. It used to be fashionable to debate from the love perspective and it seems it still is. If my mom reads this post she is going to hang me upside down, because she doesn’t want me to even think about marriage so early. My friends would say I am a typical despo iitian. Well, I am a typical despo iitian but still marriage issues are too far away from the realms of my present thinking arena.

I would use the typical GD pattern whose hangover still aches my head because the number of GD’s I attended and got thru was quite a bit.

What is marriage?

Some would say an agreement between two individuals to live together. Some would widen its scope to say, two individuals living together who complement each others emotional, physical and all kind of needs. But as usual I am not the part of these few. I would widen the scope even further to what last statement says, “In my view marriage is much more than the needs of two individuals, it’s an agreement between two families to support two individuals live together and make a new, productive, beautiful life.” Although the use of word ‘agreement’ may be debated and words like blessings of two families etc. can be used. But I would stick to more professional and urban and polished perspective. ”Aaj kal itna time kisi ke pass nahin hota hai yaar, except for lukkha despo iitians like or unlike me”

I may have widened the definition by including families, but in the same breath I have narrowed it down to Indian perspective too. But since the article I read was in Indian perspective I can take the liberty.

The arguments given in favor of love marriage are all known and well discussed(Writing like this, reminds me of my social study papers in class 10^th where I used to outscore others because I used to write everything point wise and madam used to like that)

• Compatibility of individuals is already decided
• Girl gets more freedom in this case because her vote counts equally in this case, and this vote carries forward after the marriage too.
• Lots of love between the individuals (as the name itself suggests).
• Two individuals know each other for long times hence conflict resolution becomes easy.

There could be many more such points, but the moral of the story is pretty clear from these few.What could be probable disadvantages of a love marriage?

• Absence of family support.
• Economic instability (which may be an offshoot of the absence of family support.
• In Indian context the two individuals’ party to love marriage wouldn’t be in a live in relationship before the marriage, so there could still be practical incompatibility issues unresolved.

Now I would use some well established notions which are in favor of arranged marriage.

The divorce rates in western countries are much higher as compared to rates even in urban India. Although the system of love marriage is the only system that is practiced in west, except for a few countries like Italy. They have refined it and perfected it with live in relationships at times going for more time than the real marriage.

(A digression: The long term impact on the metal health of children brought up by single parents or fighting parents isn’t denied by any psychologist either.

Compared to that, Indian children grow up getting the love of both the parents, resulting in much lesser psychological disorders rate in the society. )

I didn’t have enough enthu to go on websites and find exact percentages, and there would be people who could debate those percentages themselves, hence I have gone with the general perceptions.

Now let me shift the focus to the so called old, rotten, unfashionable stuff i.e. arranged marriage. When I talk about arranged marriage (A.M. /= Arithmetic mean), I am taking a more practical and modern perspective here. This in effect means that the bride and the bride groom know each other, there families know each other. They have met a few times.

How would such a pairing differ from our Love marriage pairing? A.M. wale belong to similar surrounding, probably similar economic background even caste etc. On the other hand in LM the pair might be coming from two radically different backgrounds economically as well as socially.

Here come the practical compatibility issues which I believe make or break a good marriage. If I don’t eat onions and my wife only knows how to cook food with onions, initially I might try and eat onions because of my love, but we have to remember that I haven’t been eating onions for last 20+ years. It may sound a foolish argument but a coffin needs lots of nails, and it might be the starting one. Matters can become worse in case of a veg - non veg pairing or drinker - non drinker pairing. These factors may seem minor hiccups, but when we talk about all our life then they sound really important to me. And adjustment is always not the best route. There are some things which are ingrained, engraved upon our minds. If they are tickled or tampered with, gradually frustration builds up, and that’s why we see the success rate of love marriages in India is much lesser. This can be attributed to lack of female self reliance in our country, but I believe that cultural differences in our country are too much for many of us to adjust or manage.

Assuming that only half love marriages get parental approval from both sides, the trouble of social seclusion also starts to play a big role. (Here I have taken half because it was a good engineering assumption. When an engineer has two options 0 and 1, and only one choice to be made- The one from IIT Bombay would make ½ half as his answer)

I consider family support as a necessity for success of any individual or a couple. Firstly we owe a lot to our parents and I don’t have energy, enthu or will to fight with them neither i find necessity to do so. Secondly I have a firm belief that they aren’t going to push me into a bad relationship. And even if the relationship goes sour, I have someone to blame.

I believe that madly running away from the traditions is not the path to modernization. After all, traditions are nothing but experience accumulated for centuries.We need to rationally analyse and then take decisions. There are some traditions like dowery or sati (I am a rajasthani and it still happens ones in a while over there)which are not to be supported at any cost, but that doesn’t mean, everything said in the name of culture or traditions is rubbish. We might be loosing some really important, worth while things in that case. Lets not reinvent the wheel in the name of progressive thinking.

So what’s the conclusion!!!

Jiski jo marzi karo, lekin thoda socho yaar
Your parents have done a lot for you.

ak

A revolutionary idea

It’s good to take a break. I have been writing non academic stuff in the last month with such consistency for the first time in my life. The analogy, I can think of right now is of Mahesh Bhatt. There was a period of six months in which he released some 4-5 movies. At that time people started calling him Machine Bhatt. And there is a cliché which also fits this situation well.

“All work and no play make jack a dull boy”. Probably this break will have a positive impact upon what I write, and I will be more creative in what I choose to talk about and the way I talk about.

I won’t say I had some important things to finish, that’s why I didn’t write. It was just that my writings were penetrating far too much inside the layers of my heart and I am not ready to reveal everything as yet. There are some cards which one must keep by himself.

Today’s topic has been itching my mind for times long enough. It’s just that I have used word decent in my profile and I will try my best to remain in ‘Indian boundaries’ of decency.

Per say there is no direct link between education and this taboo terminology in Indian culture called ‘Sex’. Girls who start giggling at the name of ‘sex’ can stop reading. I am not trying to make my blog famous by trying to get cheap publicity like Pooja bhatt or M.F. Husaain. Ohh !!! How can I forget Manisha Koirala’s ‘Choti se Love story’ in this context. So I want to assure you people that this is not a b grade blog or a publicity stunt. It’s a totally logical fart. And I am not going to pay some one to sue me for this blog, sine I have written something which has hurt his religious sentiments. I also don’t hope to have a fatwa issued in my name after the blog. This blog brings to light a radical idea but I am still not ready to take the risks mentioned. I would again stress, its very logical at least from my perspective: P.

Let me clarify at beginning of paragraph itself - This is not a lecture on the human reproductive system. ‘Fikar Not’. Phir bhi padh lo it will help me explain so called technical aspects of my idea and a revision for the future biologists. And if you want to become a Nobel laureate 50 years from now, I have a brilliant idea for you.

So what is sex? Sex is ‘Do badan ka milan’. If I try to get a physiological perspective then- It’s a hormonal activity, When some arousing things ( I don’t have a better way to express this) happen to either man or woman, the level of the specific hormones (testosterone in male, Progestrone and estrogen in females) rises sharply, and results are for everyone of us to see. (Hum sab inhi hormones kee den hain, except for the test-tube babies).

Mudde kee baat!!!
So what’s the relation of a Nobel laureate with Sex, and education?

How many of us have crumbled under the weight of those heavy books. Many of us. ‘Un moti moti kitabon ne kitnon kee wat laga de’. Jinhe dekhte hee hamara 1000 watts bulb 40 watt kee fused tube light ban jata hai.

And how many of us are there who get excited at the very sight of opposite sex. I am talking about the ground realities of IIT and many other places. This may be a guy’s perspective, but I have a reason to believe that girls are more or less same since god treats both sexes equally even if the society doesn’t.

I would get to the point directly, unlike most of VJ’s, RJ’s, or countdown show anchors who always count up rather than counting down.

How great would it be, if a student preparing for exams gets excited when he sees his books, the same way when (s)he is watching TB6? I am not saying that they shouldn’t get excited or aroused watching TB6, or fashion TV. I am proposing additional excitement. How happy would the parents of such children be? How easy would it be to clear CAT, GMAT, and GRE? Obviously it’s not as easy as bribing your way out or someone else sitting for you in the exam. But since I am iitian, I am proposing this futuristic idea with some tinge of hope and practicality. Although a few people who are from Bihar may disagree and say, “Itna kuch kane kaa jaroorat nahin hai babua”.

‘Your idea can create future’
‘It takes a dream to create future’. I dream practical things, even if its day dreaming.

So what should today’s researchers who read those fat books even if they aren’t excited to read those? Make hormone called ‘Edustrone’(Education + Storone). This hormone should have same impact on the mind of person as testosterone or progesterone has. Its just that the impact would be different.
I may think about a start up producing this hormone. There could be variants of the hormone like ‘CATstrogen’ or ‘Enggstrone’. I see the future differently after this revolutionary product comes into market.

As I had pointed out earlier, this post is a logical fart, so please mere room par bumps dene maat aajan.

ak

Cycle

In this big world which is getting smaller day by day, as I get more educated, there is one thing for sure; the number of cycles that I know is going to rise exponentially.

If we recall from the early childhood the cycle of cycles started with Carbon di oxide cycle, then oxygen, nitrogen, going on to citric acid cycle, menstrual cycle and on and on. It’s not as if only chemistry or biology students suffer the pain inflicted by the venomous fangs of these cycles. Every ology in academia is ingrained with these cycles; I wonder why we don’t have a subject called cyclology. Even supposedly simpler subjects (my perspective) like economics, philosophy etc. do also boast a very high density of cycles like cycle of markets, or rise and fall of economy or what not cycle. These omnipresent cycles can also explain the election results using the anti incumbency factor( although only after the results)...I am feed up of cycles yaar!!!

But this was not meant to be a post on cycles. I had planned a really different kind of post for today. But yesterday when I went to T.V. lounge around midnight, which is my usual T.V. + 3or4 newspaper time, the terrorists succeeded in taking some amount of much coveted space on my blog.

Aaj Tak, sabse tez channel, probably for the news but also for repeating the interview of same person at the time of blasts at least 3-4 times in a span of 15 mins. Either they couldn’t find a lot of ‘Chasmdeed gawahs’ alive or there was too much competition among the channels to interview people, so ‘jisko jitney interview mile woh utne hee dikha raha tha’.

So how are goddamn cycles related to the terrorist attacks?

As usual I come up with the worst possible analogy to explain the phenomenon. I think it’s a called ‘cycle of civilizations’ which explains all the ‘utha patak’ going on in the geo politics of the world right now. And I hope that this term i.e. cycle of civilizations has already been coined, so that I am not cursed by the generations of students to come for making another painful cycle.

I remember listening to a documentary that the rise and fall of nations, cultures etc. is a cyclic phenomenon with a period of around 400 years. The period is not a concern; the concern is that the explanation comes entangled in the language of cycles. I was forced to agree to the kind of rational arguments that were given. To substantiate, the downfall of Indian civilization started around 1600 AD and the way things are going we may as well see the rise of India by 2050 AD. By the time I die India would change from being ‘Karz kee chidiya’ to ‘Sone kee chidiya’. The reason, for exceeding the time limit of 400 years I believe is; it is IST and as usual Indians are never on time.

Now from the other side of coin, the western perspective, we are looking at a cultural alienation of westerners from there own and they are embracing the culture of simplicity, yoga, and back to the basics kind of life style. Where as Indians who have been living, or have been forced to live this life style (which can be termed as poor) are running like kangaroos towards the glittering western life style. And don’t forget that we used to have same kind of life style 400 years ago when Europe and USA were nothing more than nomadic people.

What the heck, I still didn’t give reason for Terrorist attacks!!!

Well since I am talking about cycles my processor is in overdrive and kind of heated up also hence it will take sometime to make the links clear.

Who are these terrorists??

These are the bhookhe, nange of Pakistan, Kashmir, Afghanistan, or which ever place, I don’t care about. Let’s take example of India itself. Which states have most naxalite problems? Bihar and North east.

They are the poorest regions of the country. Every heard of any son of crorepati or in more polished terminology millionaire becoming a terrorist and sacrificing his life. I haven’t. Why would he?

Hunger is the most fertile breeding ground for Militancy (in the words of western media) and terrorism (Indian perspective). But hungry people can’t make weapons by sacrificing themselves. They need to be brainwashed feed and supplied with Rs 5000(that too Pakistani i.e. Pakistani currency is cheaper than Indian) to cross the loc and kill people here.

So where does cycle come in this terrorism!!!

I think terrorism is not a local problem. Because Pakistan doesn’t have money to fund these people. The probable source of money is gulf or our new love USA. I think people are trying to stop the cycle of prosperity from moving on. They have enjoyed the prosperity for so long that they can’t digest other people enjoying the same. Since they have the resources like free uneducated hungry people all around, they are used or in terms of so many European humanitarian organizations ‘EXPLOITED’. A lot more goes in this war for freedom then what we know.

But can the cycle be reversed or stopped. I doubt. In Hindu mythology even the gods have to do karma, do the part assigned (Janam aur mrityu ke chkara mein to ram bhi aaye the), to phir yeh ameer log kaise bach sakta hai. Ab hamari baari hai beta !!!

There are some key steps in every cycle. And we need eccentric people like Geroge bush to kick start those. I think what Bush has done in Afghanistan and Iraq may seem two different events may be the starting events for the overhauling of the engine of world which has been rusted after ~55 years of peace. And there is no visible force like old USSR which may be able to put some brakes on the road roller.

Wars, blood, killing of innocents can be criticized and should be criticized. But how many of us do think that it can be stopped. I am sounding very pessimistic here but I can’t help it after looking at the front page photograph of Hindustan times.

I do fear the world today is sitting on a time bomb and this time the number of causalities will not be in lakhs like the earlier world wars.

ak

Differnce between Iraq and North Korea

I got this image from BBC news web site. It’s not last year’s holi celebration picture promoting India’s cultural diversity and festival of colours. It’s Iraq uncut for you.

George Bush seems to think that oil is more important than blood and quite a few seem to agree. But how long can it continue. I still wonder whose turn is next in the so called 'axis of evil' to take a bath in this pool of blood. I don’t see Afghanistan and Iraq as two different events. They are connected in the larger picture of this oil war George bush is waging every where. The argument that George bush gave for invading Iraq was "Weapons of mass destruction". But i feel the just opposite. United States knew for sure that Iraq didn’t posses any WMD’s; hence it was an easy target and source of cheap oil.
Why is Bush not liberating North Koreans from there dictator?

Simple answer, North Korea has proven stock piles of nuclear weapons.

A saying of Karl Marx translated in Hindi
"Duniya ke garibon, ek ho jaao
Tumhare paas khone ke liye kuch nahin hai
Aur paane ke liye saara jahan hai"

What would North Korea loose if there is a war? To put it bluntly in George Bush's terminology, “Nothing". Who cares for lives of innocent North Koreans? So they don’t count. A few thousand American troops, well there will be some uproar about that for some time but that also will subside after some time. But even if a single North Korean missile lands in Washington D.C., How much can be the loss to Americans, unimaginable!!!

That is the only reason, why North Korea hasn’t been invaded.


ak

I-Robot

“Love is all about watching movies that you don’t like”, This quote has nothing to do with my post.

I-Robot-A good movie. I have a taste for action movies, so I liked it very much. But this post is not a critical review of the movie. This post is about me and how I have felt all through my 23 years of lonely existence on this lonely planet. Don’t think I am an exobiologist who is feeling really depressed about not being able to find life in his recent research.

This song of Linkin Park, How true it is for many of us.

i'm tired of being what you want me to be

feeling so faithless

lost under the surface

i don't know what you're expecting of me

put under the pressure

of walking in your shoes

[caught in the undertow / just caught in the undertow]

every step that i take is another mistake to you

i've

become so numb

i can't feel you there

become so tired

so much more aware

i'm becoming this

all i want to do

is be more like me

and be less like you

can't you see that you're smothering me

holding too tightly

afraid to lose control

cause everything that you thought i would be

has fallen apart right in front of you

[caught in the undertow / just caught in the undertow]

every step that i take is another mistake to you

[caught in the undertow / just caught in the undertow]

and every second i waste is more than i can take

but i know

i may end up failing too

but i know

you were just like me

with someone disappointed in you

I have had lots of grudges with the kind of life, I have lived. The reason is similar to what the lyrics of songs are, but not exactly the same. I haven’t been forced by my family or any one to do what I have been doing, or that is the way things have been. My dad is a rational being, and that is the nature that nature has been inherited and amplified in my genes.

It seems like I have been systematically brainwashed to become an iitian I don’t remember watching planes like many other small kids and thinking about a becoming fighter jet pilot. Also I don’t remember dreaming to become a doctor or engineer or a military officer or anyone.

Why?

What is the difference between me and others?

I still don’t know the answer. But I can make an attempt to dig deep in the dark. My father like me is a mediocre kind of a person and he realized pretty early that we were no better than him. Results of this conclusion are the debate that I still can’t win or loose.

I still remember being forced to study in the summer vacations as early as class 5^th. I hated that and who won’t? The tradition is same for me and my brother. My brother started preparing for JEE from the class 9^th itself.

Do you feel happy if you achieve whatever you have been striving for? I believe that most of us do. I found out that I am rare exception on the day my JEE results were out. I shocked, and I still find it difficult to digest that I wasn’t jubilant. It appeared as if my dad got thru rather than me. It was just another day. I can get philosophical and say that “Milestones are a very small part of journey”. They typical analogy that comes to my mind is “If you walk 1 km and reach the mark, what is longer and more important…the mark or the kilometer you travelled”. But if I dig deep into myself, I find myself unable of being happy because I don’t know the definition of being happy. How does one become happy or sad?

I found out after coming to IIT that people should have hobbies, which allow them to relax and enjoy. I didn’t have a hobby. But the best part is that I forced myself to develop a hobby not because a hobby makes a person mentally fit but because in the IIM interviews it’s very difficult to get thru if you don’t know a to z about your hobby. This is what my seniors told me. The way my seniors talked, I found the interview unimaginable without a hobby. “You can’t be a sane if you don’t have a hobby”.

I liked cricket and tennis to some extent but it was difficult to know everything, literally everything about the past present and future of the games. So these games were out of question. Finally after a lot of research I forced myself to develop a hobby of reading biographies.

The point is not the hobby. The point is, it was never enjoyment, or sense of fulfillment. It was always my goal, target. Sadly I didn’t make it.

But what kind of life have I been living in order to achieve that. What is the difference between a robot and me? A robot does whatever task is given and I have always done the same and so has my brother and so have many of us.

I have been made into a robot stamped “B.Tech chemical engineering IIT Bombay”. But I believe that being a person who feels like a chemical engineer would be much more different than the way I am.

But can I feel? I don’t know….

ak

What I love about myself

It sounds more like an interview question but ismein meri koi galati nahin hai. Dimag abhi bhi interview mania se bahar nahin nikla hai. I don’t remember when the grand job treat was but not more than two weeks. I wanted the title to be “What I hate about myself”, but when I reviewed my blogs, I found out that there was too much of negativity in my writings. As many experts suggest, “Attitude changes Altitude” Hence it’s a conscious attempt on my part to write about good things, write positive and think positive. Some MBA grads may accuse me of using only the S of SWOT (Strength, Weakness, opportunity and threat) analysis, but I plan to come up WOT in recent future.

So what are these things that I love, in other words I am trying to be “Apne moohn miyan mittu”. As all great men have a lot of things that they are proud of, and I obviously being one of them, so I do have a long list:

• I know what are my limitations are: This may sound a weakness to most of the achievers who have exceptional caliber, but for a mediocre to have great achievements, I believe this is one of the basic necessities. I owe a lot to this quality of mine for whatever bare minimum I have been able to achieve in this short life. When I know that I can’t be one of top 500 rankers in JEE, I am not going to solve the toughest of the problems. It gave me an edge in my JEE examination and I achieved my target of being ranked ~1000 with a .02% deviation. If the answers of a chemical engineer are as close as 70 to 80% of the real answer, he is an exceptionally talented guy. So it was a great achievement for me to be JEE rank 1002. “Aur Poot ke paon to palne mein hee dikh jaate hain”, as you all know.

But as all strategies back fire if used more than once, this one also did in my CAT preparation. I only prepared the easy things and expected the paper to be easy. But the paper only had tough questions. And only exceptional people make history, not mediocre. I was all out in the first over of the match. Can’t be helped….

Hmmm… But this realization of my limits is also the source of my energy. It empowers me with enormous perseverance to go on and on and on and on until I reach where I am destined to.

• I am not an egoist: Yes I can claim this rightfully. There are many people who don’t like asking the way when going to a new place and like to wander around till they themselves figure out, where and how to reach. I am not one of those unduly high self esteemed chaps. I don’t mind asking the way, confirming it and reconfirming that again.

It’s a simple analogy. But I prefer asking rather than inventing the wheel. This is the reason that I owe other people a lot more than what most people do. I learned all my JEE mathematics from two people Deepak and Ashish. They solved the questions and I learned the tricks because I some how realized that mathematics is not my cup of tea.

Not being egoist allows me to be rational in situations where people can get highly emotional. I don’t mind loosing in a table tennis or Age of Empires or cricket match, but my friend manish would continue to play until he wins and atleast proves to himself that he is a better player. It allows me to tickle other people’s emotions, (which I don’t approve of myself) but sometimes you can take the liberty with friends…because they are the best of the god’s creations.

• Non emotional, objective and liberal attitude: I make die-hard efforts to have all these constituents in my personality. I have been called eccentric, firangi and what not because of these qualities. These qualities are an asset if I can fully develop them. Everyone knows about them but how many of us actually try to practice.

Who doesn’t know “Vinash Kale viprit Buddhi”, but still we get emotional whenever there are difficult decisions to be made. I don’t know about the origin of my ultra liberal thoughts but I seriously plan to put them into practice. I believe that whatever freedom I have in a relationship, should be available in equal terms to my counterpart. It gives me more freedom and enhances the freedom of others as well. But this is all theory, so I have to wait for future to unfold itself and tell me, who is right? I or my friends who shrug away my thoughts saying…time changes every one!!

• My diverse choice about everything: I like to make friends from all corners of the world, listen to all kinds of music, eat all kinds of food (only vegetarian), and roam around to all corners of the world (up till now its only India). I can’t live at one place for longer periods of time. 4 years stay at IIT has also started to get a boring tinge.

Personality is a Pandora’s Box. The more you know the more complex it gets and hence quest goes on and on. I hope to find out a lot about myself in recent future because these lukkha days are “Toofan ke pehle kee shanty”. A lot is going to change in coming days in and around me. Its not something I intended to do, but that’s the way life is. I hope to put my life back on the track soon, but patience is the virtue that I have to cling upon.

ak

Agony of My Life

I have been writing a lot and writing crap to put it bluntly to myself. Thanks to all my friends who took pains to point that out. For me, as always solution of this problem is also to introspect, look around what went wrong!!

The reason!!

I haven’t had something really good to write about, probably because I am too busy playing counter strike or age of empires and I have stopped reading. Without lots of thought churning in the mind, nothing good can come out when you get down to write. Hence I have decided to go “Back to Basics”. Think about a topic and write your heart out on it, without any LEEPA POTI. And for sometime I will make genuine attempts to follow this guideline.

Reading a post on some one else's blog reminded me of my JEE days. The days when I was supposed to be burning the so called midnight oil (which I never did, because I used to study early in the morning), the days when I used to wonder why I am not born to Aditya vikram birla or J R D tata and why doesn’t my dad have enough money in his pockets to get me an admission in some good foreign university, How much money would it take to bribe the Chairman of JEE, why do I have to go through all this? Is it necessary to become an engineer, that too from an IIT?

Those were the days when even robots would give up on my schedule of sleeping at 10:20 pm (plus minus 5 minutes) and waking up at 4:30. I still wonder what energized me to do all that. And I am pretty sure that I can never ever do the same. If someone asks me to take the JEE paper again, I may do a question or two in Organic chemistry, which is my favorite. But I strongly believe that I can’t attempt a single question in mathematics.

Mathematics has been and still is agony of my life!! It has made me villain in my life story because it always wins the fight and hero never looses.

I scored 98/100 in Class 10^th in maths. After began this tragic movie with not a single romantic scene. I and mathematics have had “choli daman kaa saath” or have been like “Langotiya yaar” who used to share the same langoti in the childhood (that’s how I understand this saying). I have been running away from mathematics since class 11^th and mathematics is like Mossad of Israel which always locates my precise location like any other Palestinian militant and aims amit seeking missile taking me down with 100% success rate. I can come up with a thousand more analogies but kiss is what I would do.

Keep it simple and stupid = Kiss (Since I have been writing crap, So taking the safer route)

I am going to graduate from the best chemical engineering department in the country and if I want, I can fool the world and can fulfill my dream of getting into a decent foreign university also.

But I realized today, that the best decision after coming to IIT that I have taken was, NOT TAKING GRE and deciding agains pursuing a research career.

I came face to face with this truth in today’s polymerization class, when prof. was doing a revision of a second year introductory course called transport phenomena. Without that course no engineer can even dream to be a chemical engineer. But like so many other paradoxes in this world, there is this little me who doesn’t understand abcd of that course and is going to graduate from this dept. with respectable grades.

When the polymerization prof talked about Stress Tensor, I was stunned as if a nude photograph of my childhood was published in playgirl and me not being paid for that(it can’t obviously be playboy). This term had more psychological implications for me rather than physical ones related to polymerization. I was thanking god that I won’t be stressed by stress tensor after the completion of the course.

It may give an impression that I have never worked hard on mathematics. But that's not the case. I have worked hard with all my heart, soul, mind, body and all the books that were published for JEE preparation at the time I was preparing for the exam.

It seems as if the there was a shortage of Arithmetic and logical units (ALU) when god was distributing minds and it was my turn.

This is something I have realized over a period of time, that whenever you think something has ended something bigger, more troublesome more demanding and at times more enjoyable starts.

So, an end is never and end, it’s a beginning. I was hoping that I would miss my dear friend Mr. Mathematics after coming to IIT Bombay.

But it seems that he came to IIT to return the langoti that I forgot. There have been four courses of pure mathematics and I have got 7/10 in three of them. It didn’t even end there. While preparing for CAT the challenge I faced was not English, which is the case with most IITians. I was juggling with class 10^th mathematics and didn't do well.

Who is to blame for all this? As always I find a scapegoat!!

To blame are our forefathers, there forefathers and so on. India is the fastest children producing factory in this world. And who suffers as a result of this? I suffered and am still suffering, you suffer and every one else too. Probably I was never destined to be an engineer, but who doesn’t want to earn money? My dad didn't have money to bribe and get me chill government job. He has a pet saying for this country

“Beta is desh mein IIT karma, Chaprasi banana se bahut zayada asaan hai”

I used to curse the population of India a lot when I was closed in my room and studying. I used to curse the reservation policy too. I used to curse myself for preparing for JEE.

But with time I have realized that to survive in India, either get out of this country and come back with loads of money, or be the best. I will make an attempt to do both in recent future.

Damn!!

First I have to clear this polymerization course.

ak

Falling short of ideas!!

It started on a day or two before feb 11 when i randomly opened ms work and started typing an article "My stay in IIT- A retrospcet". I have been persistent with my friend who is part of insight team to get that published. And it seems my efforts are bearing fruits. But, when he gave the article to one of his baccha's to edit....What did that baccha say!!!
My friend took care that he didnt hurt the writer in me and only told me this
" You get such articles, You sure have a tough job"....Am i that bad a writer....WHO CARE'S

After doing that...on feb 11th i decided to blog...and i have been a consistent blogger with a post a day. But my blogging style has been different. I have been frequently reading posts of an IIM cal group. They blog about what happend in their daily life and that too in an insanely funny way. I have tried to adopt that kind of a style at times in my writing but, it will take some time for a novice like me to write things which can bring smiles on the readers faces. My blogging has been more about my surroundings and there short or long term impacts. I dont find things happening with me worth mentioning or writable in a manner which can bind the reader. Probably another sign that i am still a new bie for the world of writing.

I normally write after going through my daily routine of reading news on bbc's website, checking mails and after that putting songs. Today i have put ghulam ali sahab's folder in win amp play list...probably that is leading this kind of introspection, plain and not so funny kind of writing. To make it little more happening ....

Itni muddat baad mile ho, kin sochon mein gum rehte ho
Konsie baat hai tummein aisi, itne acche kyun lagte ho

A fine ghazal...with great meaning in the lyrics.

But my life style is changing in the last days...!! as the time for EDP comes close, i run farther away from it.
I have started playing Table tennis every day, since the last two days...
Regarding TT my dad used to say, " It isnt a game just guess work, If your racked happens to be where the ball is coming good...otherwise forget it", I have had slightly different experience with the game. Playing TT can be as technical as planning a war sitting in Pentagon.
I dont know how many kinds of spins are there....Back spin, Top spin, Side spins ..too complicated a game...with that small table...its probably invented by dwarfs because they thought Lawn tennis court was too big for them...so why not PING PONG.
But i need to get back to doing my EDP soon other wise it will be too late.

ak