Zindagi hai to Raaste hain

A great way to release stress is to talk. My phone bills can tell how much stress I have had to cope with. Its only thanks to reliance that I talk to mumma and still I don’t feel guilty of spending too much. That doesn’t mean that I talk only with mumma. And when I talk to other people just for the sake of talking, it’s a mixed bag. Its guilt of spending and relief of talking to someone I know.

But since I have talked so much with mumma and papa since the time I woke up I cant disturb them also. Hence I have decide to write this blog on this 7 year old Toshiba settalite lap top which has a .8GHz processor and 128 MB RAM with its speakers not working currently. I have worked on a desktop for last 2.5 yrs., which is 2.4, GHz and 512 MB RAM with okay types speakers. Hence its another learning experience. The only thing I can say to myself while working on this lappy is

“Patience is the virtue everyone must have in order to succeed in life”. But this lap top always asks for more than I have in store.

After the four best years of my life, to settle in this new way of life hasn’t been easy. To add to that there have been complications which include my unwillingness to actually have a look at this job in long terms. I was dying to get into IIM’s but god wanted me to live. So I have to accept the realities which I haven’t had much control. I haven’t had many chances to make choices in life and that continued. The choice between biscuits and doing work which could be remotely related to mathematics sitting in front of computer all the day wasn’t a tough one. Up till now I don’t think I made the wrong choice.

I have traveled 5 states or more in last 3 months (a fact brought to my notice by one of my dear mamas). I haven actually enjoyed all the greenery I have been treated with. Here I have used greenery in real sense not in the usual college sense. For a rajasthani to move around paddy, banana, sugar cane fields can be one of the best things that can happen.

The way people talk differs so much. A piece of land would be called dry if it doesn’t have a permanent source of water. In that case how much of rajasthan would be dry is everybody’s guess.

Traveling teaches a lot of things. Akio morita has said that in his autobiography. I hope he is true. But that would be up to a level only otherwise sales man would become the most learned people around. I have loved going to places around. Since the nature of my projects has mostly been rural its been great going around in the villages of Andhra pradesh and Karnataka. It also clearly shows to me the differences in the level of development that south Indian states have seen over the other parts of the country. The levels of affluence are so much more here. People earn more, spend more and live much better lives.

But I have thought about these rural projects in longer term also. This upcoming retail boom, focus of FMCG companies in going rural may open gates of some bigger opportunity for me. There is another issue. Since the company has given me so many rural projects I am hoping for a long-term plan that they have for me.

But hoping such thing is hoping against hopes. I have a lot of reasons to say that but I am writing this post on a company laptop but I hope that I will put it on my blog using a data card for which I have paid. Hence I wouldn’t want to say much about such things.

A lot of crap that I have typed up there may not make much of sense. It was not meant either. Even I don’t plan to read it again. Its just that I want to take some time out from this room in which I have spent most of my Sunday listening to himesh reshamiya songs since morning.

But why did I title this “Zindagi…….”. Well the reason is that after I joined this organization I sort of got cut from the external world in professional terms. I realized the problems that could bring to me when a communication gap brought a lot of stress to me.

That hurt my ego as an IITian. In the professional word being an iitian means that you will have lots of options and people will be ready to employ you. But that can only happen if you are connected to the world. I made the mistake of lying dormant for 3 months. I would have wanted to be in position to negotiate but sadly I have still not reached that. But this connection would also bring a reality check for me. Should I actually have an ego??? Would I have been in a position to negotiate had I been connected to the world??? All these things would become clear in a few days. So the things which I may have lost out because of this hibernation or which could be my perception only will also become clear in a few days.

But that is not the only problem I face. I have still not been able to get over my failure in CAT. I still don’t know where do I get the energy to read these TIME notes but I do that. Even after 2 years of preparation of CAT I failed but I am ready to prepare and win next time. I hope whatever I am trying to say is the reality. But the thing is that I still curse my mind when I study, for my inability to do mathematics and logical reasoning. People say that to clear CAT you require 2-3 months of serious study. That could be probably true for a few but I know I am not the blessed one. I have to slog it out in order to get. But the things don’t seem to be going in my favour with increase in time duration of CAT to two and a half hours and IIM professors saying that they will focus more on understanding. “Saala dimag hoga to understanding hogi naa” . Many will come and say that I being an iitian am making fun of them. But being an iitian didn’t have anything to do with Mind in my case. It was pure slogging which I still haven’t stopped cursing. But

“Zindagi hai to raste hain,

Raste hain to Manzilein hain,

Manzilein hain to vishwas hai,

Ke Fighter hamesha Jeet-ta hai”

I would be grateful to the person who adds the missing lines to this.

enjoy life mein peace

ak